CNF: Nostalgia for Everything

I remember carting around a lush, green lawn in my Barbie mobile

I remember swiftly pedaling on my pink, sparkly bike, savoring the wind screaming by me

I remember hiding under the golden oak bunk bed when my "father" came back

I remember mixing potions like a green, big-nosed witch with shampoo and soap that bubbled up into my face

I remember my great-grandpa Criswell giving me that wrinkled one dollar bill, although he never could afford it

I remember the last thanksgiving day with him before his life faded into the blue, blue sky

I remember sitting next to the future love of my life in fifth grade and never knowing it

I remember writing my first tale of a mermaid in love

I remember seeing my playground as a pirate ship and sailing into the sea

I remember the dark room glowing with pink jellyfish floating by my head watching me

I remember trailing my mother, wanting her to speak to me, I inquired about every beautiful flower of hers we passed

I remember my first innocent kiss in a church on a wedding day; we hid behind a pew and brushed lips

I remember dowsing snails in salt to watch them fizz up like freshly shaken soda and die

I remember how clear droplets of fear dribbled down my face in a hallway after being informed by a stranger of my sisters attempt

I remember the first hug with my love, my heart pounding against my chest, ready to jump out and into his big, soft hands

I remember the tomato red blush of embarrassment as I held onto my love longer than I should

I remember being the courageous one and grabbing the hand of my lover, and never wanting to let go as we strolled to the locker room sweaty and in love

I remember the fairy-tale kiss in the rain he gave me

I remember wading through the pool water with him under the shining stars for hours

I remember quaking in terror as he first drove me home

I remember burning my arm making a dinner of enchiladas for him when I was reverberating nervousness

I remember writing poetry to alleviate the pain

I remember meeting my best friend in the most unexpected place

I remember finding out that the same best friend smoked..

I remember wishing

I remember praying

I remember loving

I remember hating

I remember begging for these memories to disappear

I remember.

I remember.