Just for you

     Your eyes open, your heart pulsating in your chest, your lungs collecting and dispelling air.

     You're alive--physically.
   
     Mentally, emotionally, you're a step away from death. Just barely clinging to existence. Your feelings consist of a devoid air most would consider empty, but not you. No, not you. You know empty all too well and this slim air contained in your soul is not empty, just barren of any consciousness, any emotion. It's back. That feeling of hopelessness, loneliness, nothingness. Depression. Far from sadness. Far from sanity. You climb into your cold, slender bed alone, too many thoughts pushing themselves against your head, creating the constant throbbing migraine that never seems to cease. You shrivel into yourself, your rustled movements reverberating through the silent room you call home. You try to find yourself in the darkness, failing you flip onto your other side, then onto your back. You can never decide what you want, even concerning the most simplest of tasks. It's devouring you whole. Every part of you is consumed by it's constant presence in your life, in your body, in your mind. You try to fight. Every day, every night, you fail. You just can't seem to help yourself and constantly give up, thinking this fight is impossible.

     You're wrong.

     Depression is a sickness inside you. Inside your mind. It convinces you to your very core you have no hope, you have no future, you have no home in this world and no one. It's a monster trying to drag you down into the pit you have dug yourself to curl up and die in. But you don't really want to die. You don't want to suffer like this. You want happiness. You crave it more than society craves success and acceptance. You think it's unreachable. That you cannot obtain the dreams you've dreamed of for so long. You think you'll never conquer your fears this sadness has created, that you will never amount to anything or anyone, that you don't matter.

     You're wrong. 

     You can defeat this disease of the mind, body, and soul. You can make your dreams reality, you can be happy. You can. All you have to do is discover hope. Discover faith. Embrace them both and never let go. All you need to do is find yourself. Accept yourself once you do and never allow the negative thoughts to creep into your mind and overpower the positive. I'm not saying this journey will be easy, I'm not saying you won't relapse, that you won't cry or try to give up. You will, I know you will. But I also know how much you want this. You desperately want happiness, and that's how I know you will not just give up, curling into a ball of disjointed disbelief and grief. That's how I know you will make it through this. You are strong. Your soul is strong, and your mind. You think you're weak but to survive this monstrosity is one of the hardest struggles in life you can face, especially on your own. But I believe in you. And I love you. So darling, have hope. Grasp happiness and live.